Encapsulating

The Ring Two (spoilers)

Every film needs a solid story. Y’know, that kinda important script that directs the film, the audience, and the actors along the way. Lemme just clear something up right now, The Ring Two had a SHIT storyline. It was absolute poo. Nothing happened and it didn’t make bloody sense. Rachel (the main character) kinda, walks around and gets discovered by that emo-well-girl, the ‘villain’ in this case, and for the rest of the movie she tries to replace Aidan by ‘stepping’ in as the only child. This only took, oh, an hour and 20 minutes to go through, which brings me on to my next point.

The speed that this story dragged its ass through was appalling. If it were on any later I might have just slept through it. I mean, it was either too freakin’ obvious (the plot), or, the film could have been an hour and 39 minutes shorter.

The only thing that got me through this movie (alive) without turning it off was the odd sexual pinch from Rachel. I swear that women’s a pervert. It started out by her threatening Aiden (her ‘semi-adopted’ kid) to getting in the bath with him when he felt a little chilly (that would be emo-well-girl taking over his body). At that point, if I were Aidan, I’d be more concerned about my head poking out the water, if you know what I mean. I also drawled over the closing scenes where, obviously the set was a bit nippy and Rachel (poor thing) had nipsicles, very sexy. Anyway, to my next ‘point’.

The acting was crappy. Y’know, its like going round a relatives house who you don’t really like (you wish they’d, oh, I dunno, die?) because they’re so awkward. That was this kind of acting. It was just fake. Total fake.

I guess the coolest scene in the movie (other than the semi-incest scenes) was the part when Rachel and Aidan are heading home from a fare and these reindeer start attacking the car. Again, totally pointless (or I missed that bit), but cool nevertheless.

So, would I recommend this movie? Erm, lets just give the figures

Acting 2/5
Story ?/5
Sexual innuendo 5/5!

Overall 2-3/5 depending what mood I’m in.
Recommend? No.

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